The Dreams of The Devils Threat and God's Love

In July of 2000, I had a dream that terrified me, but it also made me realize that I truly am a servant of our Risen Lord. Before I get to the dream here is a bit of background that led me to experiencing that unforgettable moment.

In 1994, I joined a church in my neighborhood that was of moderate size, but from what I could tell it was a decent place to worship. Not too long after I became a member, I saw a bulletin asking for help in the media department, which I jumped on right away being that it was something that I had always been interested in doing. I quickly learned all the techniques of what to do and how to work, both in the audio and video department. I spent a lot of time working with my then instructor, and soon I was a part of the team that would video tape the services. I also went to classes that trained whoever was interested in becoming a Bible school teacher. All that quickly fell as I became to subject of gossip. After a while I grew weary of being labeled and so after nearly two years of being a part of that church, I walked away, totally discouraged and hurt by the way that I was being treated by not just fellow parishioners, but by the leader and his mother. The day that I walked away from the church, I went straight to a liquor store and bought myself a pack of cigarettes which I had quit the year before that. With tears in my eyes and my heart deeply hurt, I lit up and went on my way. When I got home, I told my husband what happened, and asked him to go out and buy me some beer.

I received numerous phone calls from my former instructor and his wife, trying to encourage me to come back to church where I would have a spiritual covering, and I told them, no. The wife told me that if I did not go back, I would lose my covering and all that I learned through the spirit, becoming game for the enemy to come into my life and start trouble. I asked her if she trying to tell me that I will not go to heaven and she said no, but that the "rewards" would be greater if I “stayed grounded in the church". I refused to go back, and from that point on, I started drifting further and further away from God. I tried to keep the connection open, saying to myself, "so what if I drink and smoke, I'm not perfect and besides, I am saved". I did a pretty good job convincing myself that I was doing nothing wrong and so for the next four years (by this time it was 1996), I slowly reinserted myself into the world’s ways. And in all that time, I still would feel the Lord in my spirit, which I tried to push away by drinking myself silly. One of my girlfriends prayed for me and with me but I was having none of that, things were going to happen my way or no way. I totally turned against the Lord, His commandments, and His direction, but in July of 2000, all that changed.

 I had been spending so much time running away from the Lord that I was blinded to the fact that I was hurting Him, YET He kept pursing me.  One day, the tugging on my spirit became too much for me to resist and I found myself on the floor of my living room, weeping from the depth of my soul, crying out to the Lord for forgiveness. I have no idea how long I was down there, but when I finally got up, I felt so cleaned inside, and so for the rest of that week the Lord performed "emergency surgery" upon my heart, and my spirit. In the process of Him doing that, He also showed me how the devil used different circumstances in my life to deceive me and draw me away from Christ. Of course, I had to be a willing participate but in all that time, God never left me, He was just waiting for me to make the decision and choose for myself who I would serve.

On the night of the day that I rededicated my life back to Father, I fell asleep, so emotionally and mentally tired, but what happened next, I will never forget. I started dreaming a very weird dream in which I was lying in bed with a man I had never met. The comforter was white, the sheets were white, and as the dream faded in, I could hear the man speaking to me although I had no idea what he said. I asked him to repeat himself and he said, "I told you; you have to choose who you will serve. If you serve me, I will give you the desires of your heart, anything you want I will make sure you get, I will make all your dreams come true, BUT, if you choose to serve YOUR God, I will make life a living hell for you."  I looked up into his eyes which looked like two black marbles, no life, no emotion, no nothing..., and I said to him; "I will NEVER serve you!".

 He looked at me and kind of laughed and told me to pick an animal.  Now all around us on the bed were restless little imps that looked like nothing I had ever seen before, they were jumping up and down, scrambling around with little screeching voices, and it was then that I asked him what he meant with that statement. His response was this; “Whatever you pick, it is that animal that I will use to kill you, I am going to destroy you using something that you love." Suddenly very scared, I tried to think of the most harmless animal that I knew of, and I thought of a white rabbit. So, that is what I said to Satan (by this time I realized who he really was), and so with that, he pointed to one of his imps that suddenly grew very tall, very wide, with red eyes and talons that looked like something from a lion or tiger except these were extremely long and thick. That imp took one of his long nails, and drove it into my thigh with no care, no mercy.

The pain I felt was indescribable, and I grabbed my leg screaming out in pain, and that is how I woke up; a scream stuck in my throat, me holding my leg, still feeling the pain in it. Once I realized that I was out of that nightmare, I slid off my bed (I was shaking so hard I could not stand up), onto my knees and just started praying. I don't know what it was that I was saying, but I did not get up off that floor until I felt the peace of God flowing through me...

During the rest of the day, the Lord continued to minister to my spirit. I was at a place in which I just wanted all of God, all that He had for me, and I did not want to turn back. Surrender became my actions, yielding to the Father was my desire. I did not know where God was going to lead me, but all that mattered to me was that I had His forgiveness, His grace, and His mercy. I was tired, I started feeling like a fool as I realized the things that I had done and how I allowed myself to be deceived by the devil. I kicked myself repeatedly (mentally and emotionally) and I could not seem to get the thoughts out of my head that I had been played by Satan. Throughout the day, I was crying, and kept telling the Lord how sorry I was for not taking heed to His call, for not being obedient to the tugging on my heart; I felt like an idiot, plain and simple.

Towards the afternoon hours, I was in the kitchen, still beating myself up, falling to my knees in prayer, weeping in remorse, and then I started wondering if God really forgave me. That was nothing more than a trick of the enemy, trying to deceive me into believing that God was playing me. The condemnation I felt in my heart towards myself became overwhelming, so bad to the point that I just could not stop crying. As I laid on the floor in the kitchen crying out to God, I heard His voice as clear as if someone was in the room with me, saying; "Child, you have been forgiven, you are forgiven, now let it go". I got up off the floor thanking Jesus again and again, and went about my day, but that dream that I had early in the morning hours still haunted my very soul, and I wondered if the devil would follow through with His threat. The day progressed into night, and once again, I went to bed exhausted mentally and emotionally, and fell into a deep sleep, and I had another unforgettable dream, this time though, a dream of peace and comfort.

In this dream, I was in a huge warehouse. It had no windows, yet there was light in there coming from some place unknown. There were no doors, so I had no idea how I got into that room, but as I continued to walk in, I saw what looked like a gurney/table. On this gurney/table was a long slate of rock, gray in color with no covers, no blanket or pillows. As I approached it, I looked to my left and saw an amazing sight, the Holy Spirit. He was transparent but yet I could see Him, and the room was filled with the spirit of peace, totally contrary to the dream I had the previous night. I just stood there, and then the Holy Spirit came to where I was standing, picked me up and carried me over to the table.

Laying me down gently, He proceeded to the area where my heart was and my stomach which houses the spirit man. I did not feel one ounce of pain as He ripped me open and proceeded to clean me out. I saw what looked like dirty cabbage, wilted of different colors being pulled out of me, and it was a lot. I knew that what He was doing was cleansing me of defilement, unrighteousness, ungodliness, and impure things. At one point, I tried to sit up to get a better view of what He was doing, but when I did that, He looked at me and started to slow down. I got the message and resigned to what He needed to do in me, and when I did, His working in me started moving faster.

I don't know how long I was laying there, but as the dream faded and I gradually woke up into the natural, He was still working in me. That right there let me know that the cleansing process would be ongoing, as long as I surrendered to His will and allowed Him to do what He needed to do in me for the purpose and plans for my life in Him, and for His glory. These dreams I will never forget for although the thief (Satan) comes to steal, kill and destroy, Jesus came that I may have life and have it abundantly (John 10:10), and it is in Him that I choose to live.

I had that dream over ten years ago last month and everything that happened in them is still fresh in my memory. I know that in this hour we are in the devil will stop at nothing to try to convince us that God does not love us nor that there is a place for us eternally when our physical bodies expire in this life. All I can say is that those dreams were no fantasies, they were real, spiritual warfare is real, the Cross was and is real, and the promises of the Father to us are real. The devil is the king of deception, but God has the final say in all things, He is the same yesterday, today, and always. God bless.